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You amaze me
with your words
that lie on the page
like honey from
the poet's tongue.
Until my eye
catches them up
and they explode
as visions in my mind
Taste silver
as moondust on my lips
and shatter my heart
as fragments of a mirror
falling
Falling...landing softly
as blinding drops
of truth that cut
so deeply
I feel the shafts of light
prying into my
locked up emotions
Tears come... unbidden
Words don't. Breath goes.
You amaze me.
1992
Index
Sleep soft, my love
and weep no more
even as does the sea
sigh soft in towards its shore
Yes, evening has come
settling in on the pale horizon.
I won't deny you that.
But why must she sorrow
In her violet twilight beauty?
Do her children cry?
Yes, sometimes.
Sometimes the furtive shaft
of light reflected from a tear
pierces through all the colour
and sound they build
to try and cage the sadness.
But not so often -
For do you not hear
the laughter, my love?
The joy in the colours
sweeping exuberantly
through all their lives?
For surely there are many.
My Love, dry your tears.
Dusk does not need them.
A little rain may fall
After the sun goes down -
But does it not serve
to wash the crying from
your eyes?
So close them, and sleep soft.
The night may be long,
But you will dream.
And morning always comes!
For surely there are many.
1992
Index
Throw my head back and drink in the wind
Feel sunlight skim my shoulders and away...
Spin off, and storm through a cloud
laugh, saturated in the tumbling mist
Then break free, air cold in my face, sky black
Stars with their backs turned
Wheel by and whisper their silver secrets
Hair blows in my face, jagged across the moon
And then I turn
Feeling her fingers float over my back
Gasp as I fall away from her touch
Fling myself East to meet the Golden dawn...
Fly...
1992
Index
First
all is light
Beauty, envisaged, striven for, realized
White and pure and growing
Something; a beginning of something more
A thing ephemerally golden
Loveliness untouched and unspoiled
This is how it is,
First
This is how it must be.
But always and eternally will be change
As unrelenting as the tide's beating
And then the heart learns grief
Blackness streaks the purity like a residue
The soul looks only in on itself
A child beaten and abandoned
Not looking for sympathy
Never for pity
But always for hope.
The night must come but so
Must the stars always cast their light on the horizon
Until dawn
And as she is sought for, invited in
Dawn, with her gracious heart
lovingly returns, bringing a new baptism of light
The child takes the victory in for its own
The mourner drinks once more of life
Heaven can touch earth once again
And there is love wrought of diamond
And all is light!
1992
Index
Scrap of shadow
As though in a dim memory
I saw her pass
Eyes dark and solemn
Silent
Hair lying over her shoulders
like a snake in a willow
she said nothing
dressed in the colours of the storm
wearing her deception
like rags
she passed and I sank
into a drugged sleep
1992
Index
Down on the plain
Where the river runs
and its lake makes a looking glass
for the stars vanity,
there sleeps my love,
hid home.
Were I there, I would lightly kiss
the lids of his dreaming eyes
Push the thick, Saxon-blond hair
away from his face,
lay my head on his chest
and rest.
I turn away from the window,
knowing it will fog up again with
the winter air.
Tomorrow
I will run down to the plain
to meet my love!
1992
Index
Alone I walked along the sand
treading the line between sea and land
Blinded by the white of the day
The bright sky-blue, the shadow-grey
And I knew you were there
like I'd heard in the song
Like a wind blowing there
As if you were touching my face
Holding my heart
I knew you were there, I knew I belonged.
I followed the golden grains of sand
the road they made as part
of the land
Yet entering the sea...
I felt it somehow a part of me
A place close to my soul
because you were there
And my soul is yours, always has been.
1992
Index
Raindrops on the window
Tears inside of me
Dreams on previous pages
No-one ever saw
There's a passion there, a fire
and God-given strength
I could conquer the world
except that I'm crying
Grief is my friend today
And I'm crying for lost loves
For memories I'll never meet again.
For people that I've hurt before
things I wish that I could say
And feelings that only
come to me sometimes.
just a scent can make
my heart break
in a sympathetic echo of before
and then, sometimes,
I don't even know why I cry.
1992
Index
I know where you are
because I've been there too
I know your whole being is
crying out for significance
like a fire sweeping through a
virgin forest
Melting the snow and dying completely
at the touch of the ice
I keep waiting for the storm to break too -
each one of my minutes
is made taut and exquisite
with anticipation
and burning, expectant dreams
I'm longing to ignite the world with...
1992
Index
I've walked under your stars
alone, yet not alone
I suddenly turned around to find
You standing there - and I
was lost for words
I didn't know you'd take me
to the hole in the sky
But maybe you heard
the cry of my heart and thought
I might like to know the reason why.
1992
Index
Sometimes in my life
nothing much is making sense
I feel like I'm floating
amongst a million dim, green 'maybe's.
a thousand possibilities
each flashing numerous cards
of recommendation
and all having been given
by my imagination
reams of possibly perfect
culminations. All of which seem
like perfect paths for me to explore.
Problem of human existence:
limitation.
Everything we have, and all that we are,
is limited by somebody or someone
and often it is ourselves.
Still, maybe one day we will change the world -
and in that moment, the dim, green maybe
Really will become a shining IS.
1992
Index
I have this sense of leaving,
Tonight.
Like I'm not really here
or won't be soon -
Like I'm there, and not there
or like I'm living inside my own vision.
Maybe I'm being given a taste of future,
Or being allowed to remember...
Maybe somewhere far off in my life
I'll remember this night
And that's why I feel this now
This split-ness
This feeling of being both very distant
and yet closer than I've ever been
as close as pain
as vivid as fever
as delicate as a dream
and yet so real - so dear and real
so warm
This moment - moment of fragility
I'm afraid to breathe
in case everything shatters
And I am lost
forever parted from this moment.
1992
Index
I really want to scream -
that's what I really want
would I offend you?
Do you think I care?
I don't want to care,
I just want to scream
you know that feeling
you do, don't you
when you just want to reach
your hands in and rip out your own insides?
I mean, is that crazy?
Do you think I'm crazy?
sometimes I feel like I'm crazy
Like now
like times like this
when all I want to do is
scream
do you know what it's like
- do you? -
to just want
more than anything else
to scream
to desire it
to want your throat to be so
scorched by the sound
that it cracks open
and falls in little pieces
do you know what it's like?
1995
Index
The mist is lifting
and down the road
I see a clearing
and a child
alone.
Bereft
though only for a moment
in her world
it is an eternity
why was she left?
It is a question
that cuts
a glass-edged question
under her tender feet
and it leaves wounds
that bleed.
1996
Index
Monday
Hysteria
a frightening force
the opening mouth
beckoning me
my defenses decaying
with acid tears
tears
tears
tears
tears
drag my face open
and lash my stomach
I hold my bones together
against the offensive -
a feather in a hurricane
and call out Your Name.
1996
Index
Bursting through
thin shells of winter
brides of the sun
frozen in ecstasy
white gossamer nuptial shrouds
fall away -
dewy life
bliss for this day
Shining now
This miraculous glow
speaks to me.
1997
Index
Thick as treacle
I bathe in honey
Slow
moving luxuriously
sink into the warm sweetness
Overwhelmed
Contentment, Exilharation, Joy
This tangible thing could bear me up
Skin-to-not-skin - next to you
Surrounded by you
Lying helpless
Stunned fractured emotions
Inadequate but
nothing matters now
except You
1997
Index
The future has lost its pallor
As the dim, green 'maybe'
becomes brighter and brighter
and with the release of pressure
I feel even myself
becoming lighter
knowing
the fracture will be healed
anticipating
breathing space
living space
a place that is kinder to me
I now wait
head down
to emerge there.
1997
Index
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