The world was shocked this week as revelations from Sanrio, makers of Hello Kitty, declared the beloved childhood character is in fact a human girl. And at this news, millions of Japanese girls wept. See more about these lies at CNN
However, is this the truth? Are Sanrio certain of this?
This is not the first claim made about Hello Kitty’s heritage. Many have said over the years that Hello Kitty is in fact Cthulhu, the scary octopus/dragon creature of lore.
Hello Cthulhu has her (?) own cartoon at http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/.
The Hello Kitty Tea Party on this very site has served many thousands of cups of tea. Now, let me ask you, would a small girl be capable of serving tea safely without being scalded?
Yet, do you see any scars on Hello Kitty? No, I don’t think so.
Of course it’s quite well known that cats, or kittys in this case, are excellent tea makers. Hello Kitty lives in London according to the official Hello Kitty back story. And everyone knows English make great tea. So, Hello Kitty is clearly excellent at making tea, but small girls are incapable of making tea safely. So Hello Kitty MUST be a cat. Or, a Cthulu, which is quite possible as well.
There is also quite a popular Hello Kitty guitar:
(quite a good telecaster style guitar by all accounts).
A little girl playing a heavy electric guitar? Unlikely. But a cat? Built in picks! They are naturals on guitar.
So, I rest my case. No matter what Sanrio will have us believe, Hello Kitty is in fact a cat.
Or a Cthulhu, but I’ll leave that as a decision for the reader.
Lastly, I’ll leave it up to this girl who makes an excellent point:
Back to Hello Kitty's Tea Party.