Because every Nigerian Scammer needs more surrealism

Simon the Elephant

Rita/Mbutu/Jenny (current Dec 05)

Mugo & the Pink Flamingo (long)

One liners

Jelly & the light bulb


Wicked Wendy

----- Original Message -----
From: <>
To: <>
Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 10:42 PM
Subject: get back

> From: Mrs. Pauline Okon
> Accountant, UBN
> Lagos - Nigeria
> Email:
> Tel: 234-80-792267.
> Dear
> First, I must solicit your confidence in this transaction, this is by
> virtue if its nature as being utterly CONFIDENTIAL and TOP SECRET. We
> are privileged to contact you because every human being is connected
> to others in a web of relationship, this relationship exist because we
> need one another for mutual supportand to accomplish our goal.
> Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make one
> apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well
> at the end of the day.
> We have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction,
> as we have been reliably informed of your discreteness and ability in
> transactions of this nature.
> In brief summary, I am MRS. Pauline Okon, an Accountant with the
> Union Bank of Nigeria Plc. Lagos,I came to know of you in my private
> search for a reliable and Reputable person to handle thisconfidential
> transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a
> foreign account requiring maximum confidence.
> A foreigner, Late Engineer Johnson Creek, an Oil merchant/Contractor
> with the Federal Government of Nigeria, until his death five years ago
> in a ghastly air crash,banked with us here at Union Bank Plc. Lagos,
> and had a closing balance of US$13.5M (Thirteen Million, Five Hundred
> Thousand United States Dollars) which the bank now unquestionably
> expectsit to be claimed by any available foreign next-of-kin of the
> Late beneficiary or alternatively be donated to a discredited trust
> fund for arms and ammunition at a military war college here in
> Nigeria, Fervent valuable efforts are being made by the Union Bank to
> get in touch with any of the Creek family or relatives but proved to
> avail, It is because of theperceived possibility of not being able to locate any of Late Engr.
> Johnson Creek's next-of-kin (he had no known wife and children) that
> the management under the influence of our chairman and member of the
> board of directors, retired Major General Kalu Uke Kalu,that an
> arrangement be made for the funds to be de clared"UNCLAIMABLE"and
> subsequently be donated to the TrustFund for Arms and Ammunition to
> further enhance the course of war in Africa and the world in general.
> In order to avert this negative development, so of my trusted
> colleagues and I now seek your permission to have you stand as a
> next-of-kin to Late Engr.Johnson Creek so that the funds US$13.5M
> would be released and paid into your bank account as the beneficiary
> next-of-kin. All documents and proves to enable you get this fund
> will becarefully worked out and more so we are assuring you of a 100% risk free involvement.
> Your share stays while the rest would be for my colleagues for and
> myself for Investment purposes in your country. We have agreed that,
> the funds will be shared thus, after it has been transferred into your account.
> If this proposal is OK by you and you do not wish to take undue
> advantage of the trust, then kindly get to me immediately via my above
> mailing address for more instruction.Thank you in advance for your
> anticipated
> Yours faithfully,
> Mrs. Pauline Okon
> Accountant,

Hello Auntie Pauline.

Thanks so much for writing - it's been so long since I've heard from you, we haven't spoken since that holiday in June 2001 and that unfortunate incident with the jelly and the light bulb (I'm so sorry about that - but the plumber sorted it out in the end). How are you? How are things in Nigeria? How is Uncle Mbutu doing? It sounds like your job at the bank is going well.

I'm doing well, I finally finished my degree and I am now a qualified financial planner. This is a very interesting deal you've told me about - have you spoken to Cousin Jenny about it? I think she'd be interested, but I have some clients who would be interested if Jenny isn't.

Love and kisses to you, Uncle Mbutu and little Mfume.



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